Clinical Expertise

I'm frustrated, to say the least, at this point. I sense building anxiety and impatience. I like to move on things fast. I can't stand to have to sit around and wait long for things to happen. I tend to start moving ahead even when things are uncertain out of a need to keep moving. So, to have to wait two months for an appointment is bothersome.

Furthermore, the social worker I saw on Monday told me that she thinks the sexual addiction isn't something related to ADHD, and that there is something else there that needs to be fleshed out. She may be right in some regard. There may be something that needs to be fleshed out. I've been so amazed at how well the profile of an ADDer fit my issues that I may have begun to see an ADHD diagnoses and treatment as a panacea for all of my ills, which perhaps is wrong. However, I got the sense that she was speaking more out of an ignorance of a complex symptom that some ADDers experience. ADHD, especially in adults, is still such an unknown and mysterious thing that most mental health professionals have no experience dealing with it. It is said that 85% of adults with ADHD are undiagnosed. But from my reading, I understand how the issue of excessive sexuality is related, or at least could be related, to ADHD.

I recently read an article entitled, The Viscious Cycle of Compulsive Sexuality, Shame and Adult ADHD. It was an eye-opener as to how sexuality can be affected by ADHD, especially in men. Also Hallowell, in his book Delivered From Distraction, mentions that conpulsive consumers of erotic literature and sex addicts are adults who may unknowingly have ADHD. This is because there is, as he describes it, a constant "itch" that needs to be scratched with engagement in high stimulus activities. There's a constant drive to aleviate a generalized feeling of anxiety.

Something I've also been reading about, which may be related to ADHD, is Reward Deficiency Syndrome, which explains a possible mechanism for a need for, or drive toward, high stimulus behavior that creates the itch. A genetic lack of ability to experience happiness under normal circumstances creates a driving to engage in activities such as drinking alcohol, gambling, having sex, taking drugs, driving fast, jumping out of planes or off of bridges, whitewater rafting, and anything high stimulus. This idea fits with the fact that as a youth, I was very introverted but also felt an almost constant extreme degree of anxiety. This led to a quick temper, violent thoughts, and a constant on-guard kind of feeling--like I was always one word away from knocking the teeth out of the person next to me. When I got older, I became a lot more outgoing. In fact, I became too outgoing. My academic performance in college was partly affected by the fact that I felt a need to party four nights a week. But I felt a lot less anxiety as I became a compulsive extravert.

Anyway, I started off this post intending to say that the one thing that makes me feel a little bit better today is that I just looked up the psychiatrist I am scheduled to see in March. He is apparently a very well-educated doctor who specializes in both adult and child psychology, something that is crucial since child psychiatrists often have much more experience with ADHD than those who only see adults. Furthermore, it has listed that one of his specialties is treating people with ADHD and related disorders. So perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel, rather than a frustrating sequence of receiving inadequate help. Perhaps.